It was 4 months on Monday....

I hadn't seen the headstone, so Monday afternoon dad & I went for a drive to Lismore to see her. It was so, very sad.
We arrived, and BAM, there's mum... pink headstone, surrounded by beautiful flowers, she'd love it - everyone else's headstone around her is the normal brown & gold... but hers, hot fuschia! She'll stand out for years to come!!

My mum hole is still very present, raw and very real... it's not something that I'll just 'get over', or be healed from instantly within a few months. I lost my mum very suddenly and it hurts. I have good days, I have bad days. But the best thing is I have Jesus & the holy spirit who are the ultimate comforters on those bad, sad days.

Much love,

AJ Xx

I've had a really bad couple of weeks...

My dad moved back into the house the other week, it's not because he's bad to live with, no - it's because, mum, dad & I used to live in the house, and dad being here... without mum just highlights the fact that she is gone, and will never walk in the front door ever again, ever....

It's hard readjusting to life without her

I miss her today.

Big love to you all

AJ Xx

I wish my mum was here....

Not only so I could see my dad laugh & smile & be happy again, but for me too. I've had some pretty important occassions over the last few weeks, that I would have talked with my mum about... Having my annual work fundraiser, my Frocktober event, going out for dinner with a lovely gentleman, losing weight & just chatting to her about the stuff that goes on everyday... She was always interested in the things that happened, no matter how big OR small they were, if they were important to me - they were so precious to her. Noone seems to be as interested about my normal everyday details of life that my mum did, but that's a mum for you - I'm so glad my mum, was my mum - what a great example she was - I'll strive to be the mum that she was for me, for my kidlets! Life is so very different without her here.

FROCKTOBER!

About two weeks ago, I held my Frocktober event, & raised about $450 - if anyone would like to make it $500 that'd be great (http://www.frocktober.org/) Next year will be bigger & better, & will raise more awareness & money for ovarian cancer research. Here are some pics from this fun evening! My mum's sister Helen came on the night, that was very special. These photo's are by my friend Casey Nipperess.

.me.jess.janine.claire.

.some.of.the.girls.

.the.family.

.me.aunty.helen.adele.bethany.

.annelyse.kc.georgia.me.

Thanks for stopping by!

Big love to you all!!!

AJ Xx

Hello faithful blog followers!

I've snuck the laptop into my room finally to debrief about a few areas of my life to you...

I sit here on a Wednesday, 10:30 at night - finally having a moment to type. Tomorrow night I am holding my Frocktober event (7-9pm at The Point, Ballina, $10) You should totally come!!!

I woke up at 6am to go for a walk with Molly and pray. As I was praying this morning, I had a slight inclination that there was going to be some good surprises today, and there was!!! Let me tell you...

I went and caught up with our Operations Pastor, but also my friend Annaliese, while chatting with her my friend Taryn was trying to call, but, my phone was on silent so I missed her. As soon as I left Annaliese I called Taryn back.
Taryn works for the guy that runs Bluesfest & she phoned to tell me, that her boss wanted to donate 2 tickets to my frocktober event. A 5 day Bluesfest pass, valued at $410 and a 3 day pass valued at $305! I was blown away...like, seriously!!! I thanked Taryn, a plethora of times, and all she said was, that she wanted to help me out somehow, and she definitely has... what an amazing friend!!

I then met my friend Aliska for our irregular, regular catch up - whilst walking down the main street, shopping and sipping our diet cokes we went into one of my favourite shops... not because of the clothes, but beccause of the owner, Nel. Nel is one of the kindest human beings on the planet, and I was chatting to her about this event and she went away for a few minutes, came back with a hug, and placed in my hand quite a large donation to support what I was doing... what a great egg she is!

God has been so faithful to me the last few months (not that he hasn't been previously!) but the sense of peace and favour I have felt from him over this journey has been beautiful. I love God so much. When you take a step out and want to see justice in an area... he will come running to help you in your time of need.

Frocktober is all about raising awarness of Ovarian Cancer, the money raised from tomorrow nights event will go towards research into an early detection for this cancer. As I am well aware, ovarian cancer is a silent killer, every 10 hours, one precious mum, wife, daughter, sister or grandma, is taken from somebodies life. Now that it has effected me, I want to do something about it.

It's A Frockin' Good Cause!

.mum.&.me.in.our.frocks.

On Saturday, dad and I were at the local IGA in Mundubbera looking at the notice board where we saw a flyer for 'Frocktober' - I read on because it had cool graphics... The only cafe in Mundubbera (La famille) was holding a fundraiser every Friday in October where you get your girlfriends together, wear a frock and have a coffee/tea together - the cafe then donate a percentage of the days takings to support Frocktober. I liked the sound of that!! Nothing better then getting together with my girlfriends, chucking on a frock and eating and drinking together... and helping a great cause!

.girlfriends.&.frocks.=.good.times.

I wanted to find out more, as I had never heard of Frocktober before (am I the only one?!) So, I got home and googled it straight away!!!! Frocktober aims to raise funds for the Ovarian Cancer Research Foundation (OCRF) One woman dies every 10 hours from ovarian cancer... for many women with ovarian cancer, the disease is already well advanced when they are diagnosed. Unfortunately, there is no screening test for ovarian cancer. Frocktober aims to help improve the outlook for women with the disease by supporting the quest for a suitable, early detection test through fundraising for the OCRF. For more info on this initiative please visit http://www.frocktober.org/

I haven't told you this yet.

Dad recently went to our family doctor for a check up, about 8 weeks after mum died. During his consultation they talked about mum and her very, very, extremly short fight with cancer (19 days). We never really got any answers off the doctors after mums death as to what cancer mum had as her primary, and not knowing has been really difficult. I know naming the cancer won't make anything better or whatever - but what I do know is that if I know, then I can keep an eye on my health, to make sure me and my future family is looked after.

Our doctor, had looked over mum's tests and blood work from those few weeks and he told dad at this consultation that the test and markers show that it was probably ovarian cancer. Blah. Which is the cancer she had been originally diagnosed with. The doctor told dad what Kirsty, Clare and I can do to make sure we don't have to fight the same battle my beautiful mummy did.

I want to help bring awareness to this horible, aggressive disease and help other women and their families, not have to endure the pain of losing someone so quickly through ovarian cancer.

Sooooooooooo....after speaking with my friends, and having their support - Ballina will be having a Frocktober event!! Date is to be confirmed tomorrow, so locals, clear your diaries in late October, because ladies, it's a frockin good cause!

.frocks.

EXCITING NEWS!!!

Yes! Us Tyson's had some great news the Monday after mum's funeral. On the Sunday night, all 13 of us were having dinner at Kim & Bethy's. Daniel for some reason was having egg's on toast, Adele (my sister in law) has never been an egg fan and got one whiff of Daniel's eggs and had to leave the room...ha!

The next day Danny and Adele found out they were expecting baby No.1! Mum and dad's 4th grand baby! We were/are just alllllll soooooooo ecstatic.

.the.lovers.

Going through mum's stuff we found one of her most recent prayer journals, with many prayers written in it, but most predominantly the prayer for Danny and Adele to have a baby. We also found a little "my first Christmas" size 0000 that mum had purchased last Christmas, ready for this baby (Faith without works is dead! Go mum!!)
Baby Tyson IS a gift from God, so wanted and is already so loved and blessed. We are all so excited for this baby and it's future. We are also very sad that this baby, along with my other future neices and nephews and my babies to come that they will never get to meet their Ginny...

.baby.tyson.=.bt.

BT is due late March 2011... so excited!!!!

Until next time!

Big love & hugs,

AJ Xx

I'm sitting in my sister's lounge room on her brown leather recliner in Mundubbera, QLD as I type this next blog out. I'm on holidays with my dad...


The last few weeks have been a whirlwind, which is why you have hardly heard from me. I've been working 4 days a week and absolutely love being back at school, it's been incredible, getting into some sort of routine, seeing young teenagers chase me in the playground and say 'AJ, I want to be a christian' (yes, seriously!) and being able to tell of young people of the reality of life and death and tell my students of the peace that my mum had when facing death. What a testimony. BUT, oh... my... goodness it has been exhausting, grief is exhausting...


When I'm not at school, I'm with this guy...

.my.dad.

We hang out quite a bit, I see him every day. I have all the time on the planet for him. We go out for coffee, have daddy daughter dates, we take Molly for walks, I make him dinner at Kim and Beth's, he comes over to my house for dessert, we travel and we cry together - just to name a few things!

This guy is amazing and so precious. He must be going through the most horrible thing on the planet at the moment and he has every reason to not get up in the morning, but he does! Go him! What a great man of God ... he just keeps on going!


I'm not going to say this road I'm traveling is easy, it's hard, very hard and people seem to treat me now like everything is back to normal. It's not. I snap easily, I cry when I feel anything more then everyday pressures, random things upset me, I find it hard to make decisions... that wasn't AJ before my mum got sick and passed away. Things have changed. But, that's grief. But, I also know who I am still. I'm still God's precious daughter and want to serve him wholly and completely. God gives me grace each second of every minute of every hour of every day, I need it, now...more then ever.

Each Thursday since my mums funeral I have continued to go to our youth and young adults prayer meeting from 6:30-7:30am at our church. this is where we pray for our town and the incredible people in it, followed by coffee at the Coffee Club, where beautiful Helen the proprietor serves and makes us the best coffee on the planet! Ever since the funeral I have made this prayer meeting a priority, because in this storm of emotions that I am facing, I know prayer will sustain me, heal me and give me break through as I pour out my requests to God in this season. Yes, you can pray on your own and in isolation, and God will hear you, but I love the discipline of this prayer hour, praying with people I am doing life with is the most powerful thing you can do to encourage a community of believers.

.for.where.two.or.three.are.gathered.together.in.my.name.there.am.I.in.the.midst.of.them.
.mathew.18:20.

Don't you worry! I've had some fun and exciting things happen as well in the last few weeks ;) will fill you in on those things in future blogs!


Just to let you know, I'm not ready to write about July 29th 2010 yet... I've tried to write it on several occasions, but nothing I write seems the right way of writing it and no words express the broad spectrum of emotions that were felt that day. So watch this space, one day it will be on this blog, but for now...bear with me...

Big love to you all

AJ Xx

P.s It's 9 weeks today since my beautiful mum passed away....