{ .my.life. }

After leaving Mundubberra, I actually have no idea what time I arrived in Brisbane. Perhaps 2 o'clock?

I had Molly, so I dropped her at my sister's house, then headed for the Mater hospital in South Bank. My iPhone and google maps did me no good that afternoon, I wasn't supposed to go into the city, but I ended up in there some how?! I must have been a little stressed... I somehow got out of the city, and arrived at the Hospital, my dad was waiting out the front for me.

It was so nice to see him, soooo nice. He took me straight up to mum, 10th floor, room 1016, a private room with ensuite. She was lying there, I was so glad to see her again, she had her pink blanket that some of the ladies from our church had prayed over and sent up. She loved it, it was hot pink. I spent all the evening with her, nothing uber exciting happened, the doctor and nurses walked in and out checking on her. Clare arrived after work (every morning Clare would drop dad at the hospital before work, then on her way home - spend time with mum and take dad back to her house.) Dad was spending all day with mum at the hospital, just sitting there and being with her. What a man!

.the.blanket.mum.loved.

Daniel and Adele arrived at the hospital that afternoon. I think on that Friday evening, Dan, Adele and Clare went and got dinner - dad and I stayed and waited for her kidney specialist to come check on her with not the best news. We left about 9 o'clock that night, went to Clare's debriefed with dad and went to bed. Just FYI, dad did NOT notice Molly limping...

The next morning, dad and I went to the hospital quite early. I needed to get back to Ballina to get back to work Monday, also to be there when the removalists arrived with all the furniture on Tuesday and most importantly go to church. Man, I had missed being in the House, MY church through this tough time. Daniel, Adele and Clare went to the gym that morning, as I wanted to leave from the hospital, so we planned that they would come in around mid day with Molly and I'd leave for Ballina.

That morning, I am so glad I had with my mum. I sat there chatting with her - when she wasn't resting, getting her water, playing Plane Control on my iPhone, reading magazines, texting, and just being there. I knew life was going to be changing dramatically for me the next few weeks and coming months. Later that morning, around 11 o'clock, one of the doctors came in and spoke to us about mum's creatinine levels, what was supposed to be in it's early 100's was now at 372. I knew that was really bad. REALLY bad. Mum said I needed to contact the prayer chain from church straight away. I did. We needed prayer for that creatinine level to go down... there's nothing like being in a praying church. The doctor left. Dad, mum and I sobbed, we then prayed together. For peace, for healing, for strength to come over mum. Mum said she felt like this was the end, that at her funeral she wanted lots of people, tears, laughter and lots of flowers.

I got a call off Daniel, Adele or Clare ( I can't remember!?!) saying that they were downstairs with Molly, I said goodbye to mum hugged her, kissed her and stroked her beautiful soft hands, hugged my dad as I was still crying, walked down the corridor, into the elevator, went down to street level where my sister Clare, (whoever had rung noticed that I was upset) so she met me in the hospital lobby, hugged me and walked me outside. I was devastated. Daniel, Adele and Clare hugged me and talked me through it all. I then left with Molly, sobbing most of the 2 hour trip home. I arrive home, and decide to go out to dinner with my friends Ruth and Shaz, I tell them about the shocking last 3 weeks. It was so good to talk through it with people who just love you and are genuinely care for you and how you are.

The next morning, before church I go to breakfast with my lovely friend Amy - again, I talk through the last few weeks, as I wanted my close friends to know how bad it had been and how it's going to be many tough weeks to come. I text Kim asking him to save a seat for me at church, I arrived just as church was starting. I see my friends. It was so good to see my brother and sister in law after an unexpected 3 weeks away. I loved being in church that day, so much. People were aware that mum was very sick, but at this church service they made an official announcement, (with our permission) Jeff our Senior Pastor made a very respectful announcement about mum's health. Jeff preached that morning and before the service finished he gets his wife Carolyn up as people are worshiping, he asks people around us to lay hands on us and pray. What a powerful prayer it was. I had walked into church that morning, scared, worried, frightened, intimidated, worried, broken and very traumatised from the last few weeks. I remember Jeff praying, putting his hand on my head and all of that stuff, that fear, going. Something broke off me - I left church that morning, feeling very different to how I had entered....

Big love!

AJ Xx

Thanks for stopping by! See you soon...
P.s more pics next post!